Being gay as a choice

23 Nov

The big misconception many people have when discussing whether or not a person chooses to be gay or not is that they assume there is a choice to be made. Being gay is who a person is, it is the attraction they feel for a person which is inexplicable beyond that individual knowing what is right for them. With that said, there is however a choice to be made which is not whether a person is gay or not, but whether or not a person chooses to allow them self to express that identity openly or suppress in order to fit in with the majority.

Not everyone understands that concept because for some people it takes a very long time for them to make the choice to live the life that is truly correct for them, or to continue living a lie and pretending to not be gay. Nearly everyone knows of someone personally, or at least second hand, that came out of the closet late in life. They often interpret that as the person making a choice to stop being heterosexual and “turn gay.” Nobody turns gay, it is not something a person chooses like a breakfast cereal or which shirt to wear.

The choice to be openly gay is the choice to express a persons true inner identity. It isn’t as if some switch was flipped on their brain that suddenly made them gay, nor is being gay the product of an overbearing mother, bad heterosexual relationship, or an act of violence perpetrated by an opposite sex person. It is just who a person is.

The waters are further muddied because there are people like bisexuals, pansexuals, and omnisexuals that do not choose whom they are attracted to based on gender or anatomical sex, but rather the qualities a person possesses. Many people looking in on the gay community from the outside see these people and begin believing everyone that is gay has the ability within them to be attracted to either sex and make the assumption that being gay is a choice. This is nothing more than a matter of misunderstandings, some people are attracted only to the opposite sex, some only to the same sex, and some lucky people can be attracted to either. It is called diversity, nature is full of it and human beings are no exception to that rule.

There is of course the movement of people that claim to be gay by choice (GBC) but are they really gay? Is a man sleeping with another man enough to make him gay? Is a person heating up a microwave dinner enough to make them a gourmet? The answer is of course no, it isn’t. People often dabble in things, even to the extreme sometimes but it hardly means that they are what they experiment in. A toddler sitting on a racehorses back is not a jockey, a man or woman that does nothing more than try a same sex intimate encounter is not gay, they are open minded and experimental, but they are not gay. They are just trying to figure out who they are just like the rest of the world, they may just have a different aspect of self identity that confuses them.

While many complex answers to this question can be formulated along with the citation of studies, arcane texts, and personal opinions, it is not really a very difficult issue to explore. You are gay or you are not gay. It is not a choice. Your only choice is embracing it and being true to yourself or presenting an image which is not you.

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