Tips for building trust in gay relationships

27 Oct

Trust is built in a gay relationship the same way it is in any other type of relationship: It is earned. Trust takes time to be built in any form of relationship whether it be between too co-workers, friends, family members, or intimate partners. The fact that a gay relationship is composed of two people of the same sex in no way means that those two people do not deal with the same issues as any heterosexual relationship, nor that they do not need the same reassurances and time to reach a point in which they can feel safe confiding in one another and feeling comfortable depending on each other.

The manner trust is built is a long process as in this day and age few adults freely give this wondrous gift away. As we age we look back on life and see too many instances in which we placed our trust in the hands of another only to see it shattered. As such the process of allowing someone to earn our trust takes longer and becomes more complex with each instance of this happening.When you add in the element of intimacy it is an even bigger mess many times.

We earn trust one action at a time. We begin by honest with one another, we share our good and our bad. We reciprocate this action and then build upon it one small block at a time. We don’t betray each others confidence, instead we safeguard it as if it were the most precious of our possessions, because in all reality it is. Sure you may not be able to hold in your hands or see it, but it does exist and it is as valuable as anything in the world.

We maintain trust by realizing that earning trust is not enough in and of itself, it has to be maintained and nurtured. This is done by continuing to share with each other and guarding those secrets meant to only be between the two partners. It is maintained by showing good faith and trusting your partner to make decisions that impact you both rather than always feeling the need to be in control. It grows exponentially when you show trust in your partner by trusting those whom they trust as well whether it be their family or oldest friend.

You allow your partner to go about their life as they did before you met, you don’t try to contort them to address your own insecurities. You let them see their friends and go about their social life as they always have without checking up behind them and grilling them with questions just because they failed to answer a phone call or came home fifteen minutes late. You put faith in them that they are with you because they choose to be with you. In the final analysis, you build trust by doing the most difficult thing of all, you give your trust away and believe that it will be returned.

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