Marriage vows: Trivialized by modern trends

22 Apr

Marriage is supposed to be one of the most serious contracts anyone ever enters into as it is based on the agreement of two people sharing their lives together. Consider that for a moment, til death do us part. Sharing a life is sharing more than property, it is sharing emotions, minds, the soul, the body, every single bit of the essence of two people is a part of marriage. Marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer. Times change and as they do so too do the many ways marriage has become viewed in today’s society. In fact, marriage has often become a point of trivia for many couples.

It is no secret that divorce is out of control these days and has been for a few decades with no end to this trend in sight. You don’t have to delve into ancient history to see a time when couples took their vows more seriously, going back a mere sixty or so years is sufficient. Divorce was still looked upon as a stigma, it was a failure, and only in the most extreme cases was it even a consideration as a solution for marital problems. Today we see couples that barely make a one year anniversary already on the rocks and filing papers for divorce, and this is far from being the sole domain of celebrities, it is John and Jane Q. Public just as often as Britney Spears and the flavor of the day.

Marriage vows often looked upon now as suggestions or merely words that are parroted for the sake getting through the ceremony. It seems like more and more couples simply don’t view the words they speak at the ceremony as if they are real or carry any weight. As such it makes it easy to disregard their contractual or solemn vows depending on how people view them with greater ease. If money problems are causing tension go ahead and get a divorce. You can’t agree on where to live, you find yourself attracted to someone new, or it’s just plain old too hard at the moment, why not go ahead and get a divorce?

Far too many people enter marriages these days without realizing that the honeymoon does end. There will be problems and there will be disagreements. Sadly this when combined with what can best be described as a disposable society attitude in regards to nearly everything we use or own, even our jobs is mistakenly applied to marriage. The sad fact is to some people marriage is disposable just as an old car or worn out set of sheets. Once it has served a short term purpose and begins to show some wear it is discarded all too often without a second thought.

This isn’t helped by seeing celebrity marriages and divorces made headline news nearly every week. It has actually gotten so sad that there are people that actually root for these marriages to fail believing that if the rich and famous can’t make it work it is okay when they can’t make it work. It is as if it is viewed as a common bond that links them together. As if their failure to hold a relationship together makes them human and closer to being like everyone else. it’s not a pretty picture, but reality all too often isn’t pretty. If it was we would call it a fairy tale.

Add all this together with the rise of instant or overnight marriages made easier to obtain in a growing number of countries and regions within countries and you can add poor impulsive judgement to another way in which marriage vows are trivialized. We make it easier and easier to act without taking time to think if the vows of marriage are something that we are ready to live up to. As such we have made it easier to obtain nearly instant divorces and annulments so that we can just write off disregarding our vows as a mistake made in haste.

Certainly not all people view their vows in such a trivial manner and there are times when divorces are absolutely justified, that is not what is being discussed here. What is now evident is that we now live in an society based on instant disposable gratification and that marriage vows have fallen into that realm. It is not a good thing for anyone involved and it is sad that something which means so much is now all too often something which is trivial.

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