Do “friend crushes” mean you’re gay?

18 Jan

The question as to whether or not having a friend crush makes you gay rises up once again. This is a very simple question to answer and put quite simply, no, having a friend crush in no way makes you gay. There is a very easy to follow rationale for taking this position that makes complete sense and can lay this question rest.

A crush is an emotional attachment which isn’t specifically love, but also isn’t void of it. A crush is a wonderful mixture of infatuation, friendship, desire, and love. None of those emotions on their own makes a person gay if they are directed towards a same gender person. Even collectively they don’t make a person gay.

Some may find this comparison a little creepy, but it is not at all uncommon for children to reach a point when they have a crush of sorts on one of their parents. Usually it is the opposite gender parent but not as always as this crush is generally directed toward the parent they have the most contact with. A crush is not sexual in nature, it is purely emotional. That child that develops a temporary crush, as all crushes are temporary, is no more gay than an adult that develops a crush on their best friend of the same gender.

The first thing to realize is gay people like straight people have a crush on friends of the opposite sex but that doesn’t make them straight. Seeing as that axiom applies to gay people, it is equally valid in regards to straight people that have a crush on a friend of the opposite sex. Being gay is having a sexual attraction and desire for a same sex person, not simply having a crush. If having a crush on a person of the same gender was all that is necessary to define homosexuality then the whole world is gay. We know that to not be true.

A person that worries about whether or not having a crush on a same gendered friend is a person that has insecurities to deal with. How sad and lonely the world would be if people were so wrapped up in questioning sexual orientation every time they felt any positive loving feelings for a person of the same gender. Questioning love and friendship is wasted energy. Crushes are a part of life no matter who they are felt for. We all have had them, and often make light of them.

How many times have we heard someone has a “man crush” or is “crushing hard” on a new friend? We hear it all the time in television, movies, and in daily life. Now ask yourself this, how many of those people wind up “turning” gay” coming out, or even seriously questioning their sexual orientation? Unfortunately they don’t perform studies on this (which further points out how trivial a question this is) but it seems pretty safe to say the amount of people that try homosexual physical intimacy even as an experiment over a friend crush is so negligible it isn’t even worth trying to calculate.

The bottom line is crushes for anyone are natural and should be enjoyed while they feel good. Crushes don’t mean sexual relations are on the horizon. Crushes on a same gender person do not make someone gay. They are nothing more than a combination of intense feelings focused all at once on a person which overwhelms the senses briefly. If you’re gay, you know it. If you aren’t you know it as well, and either way there is no rational reason to question love, even if it is just a crush.

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