Lesbian and gay adoption rights

17 Dec

When the issue of gay adoption arises there is something many people against this action fail to realize, it is about the child. It is not about what the Bible says, it is not about how a person feels about homosexuality. It is about the child, the rights of that child, the best interest of the child.

One of the long held arguments is that children should be raised by both a mother and father as it takes a man and woman to create life. That is a nice novel concept however that is completely ridiculous. How many children are raised by a single parent either because the persons whom created the child chose not to marry, became widowed, or even divorced with one parent having no custody rights? Are those children now placed in an inherently disadvantaged position in life because one parent is absent and not in keeping with the two parent home argument? Quite simply no, many go on to have very successful personal and professional lives and are well adjusted. If this argument held water there would be no such thing as single parent adopters or single parent foster care providers.

Is a household which has two same sex committed partners an inappropriate family for a child without any family based solely on that fact? Of course not. All children need as much love and support as they can get. Just because that love comes from same sex parents in no way means it is less than that which two opposite sex parents can provide. Can anyone provide any evidence otherwise? The only difference between a child raised in a heterosexual home and a homosexual home is just that. The child’s parent(s) are either gay or straight. No other difference under the sun.

There is a group of people out there who hold the ill conceived belief that gay couples should not be allowed to adopt because they will try to raise their child to be gay or at the least use that child as a tool to push the gay agenda they so often say homosexuals are forcing on everyone. This is also a poorly thought out argument. People are who they are and you cannot force a person to be gay anymore than you can force a person to be straight. To draw the assumption that gay parents would do such a thing makes no more sense that saying straight parents try to force their children to be straight or push some straight agenda. It’s well established that in some cases straight parents raise gay children and gay parents raise straight children. Parents regardless of sexual orientation should, and for the most part do, raise their children to be happy, healthy, educated, and capable of making their own informed decisions.

I often ask people against gay adoption if they have an equal problem with a gay couple that has a child of their own that was not adopted. Take the example of perhaps a gay man who tried to live a straight lifestyle and in that time had a child with a woman. The woman leaves him and in the process gives him full legal custody while the child is still a toddler. This gay man embraces his homosexuality, takes a male life partner and they raise that child as a family. Is this acceptable? Is it the idea of any gay person or couple raising a child that is offensive or is it just a gay person or couple raising an adopted child which ruffles feathers? If so, why then the double standard?

As an adult adoptee I can tell you that after being in foster care all a child wants is a loving stable home. In my case I could care less if that home and love was provided by a straight or gay family. Remember this is about the child. There are countless children around the world that could find love and support in a home provided by homosexual couples yet they are denied this. Are we saying living in group homes or a revolving door of foster families is more stable and healthier for the child than a home provided by a gay couple? Of those children that are waiting for a home, why not ask them how they feel about being adopted by a gay couple and then ask yourself if the child is willing is it right to deny the child that family?

Furthermore as a parent in a long term committed lesbian relationship with a child we raise solely on our own, we do not raise our child to be a lesbian or straight. That is her path to determine. The only thing we reinforce in concerns to homosexuality is tolerance, something we extend to everything and everyone possible. So far she is a normal teen, she gets good grades, she conducts herself in an appropriate manner with the occasional expected teen rebellion, and has a grasp on what is right and wrong. Over the years we do at times ask if our being a lesbian couple has caused her hardship unduly to which she has always stated that she would not choose to grow up any other way.

Quite frankly denying adoption rights to gay couples is simply ridiculous. Sure the couples that desire a child via this route whom are denied such suffer to some degree, but it is the child in need of a home that is the real victim. If a gay couple truly wants a child there are any number of sperm or egg donors available as well as the old fashioned method of purely procreational sex. If a gay couple wants a child adoption is not the only choice. For those opposed to gay adoption they should realize that. Stopping gay adoption does not stop gay couples from having children, it only means more children waiting for a home will have to wait longer or go without.

Adoption is an act love, it is taking an innocent child that is through no fault of their own without a home and opening your home and heart to them and giving them all they lack in those regards. Remember that adoption should not be about whether you like the adoptive parents or not, but whether those people can give the child a good environment to grow up in. To say a person cannot do that only because they sleep with a person of the same sex is blatantly flawed and only insures more children suffer a life without a family everyday.

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